The nurse starts with the basics.
'How much do you weigh?' she asks. '135,' I say.
The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.
The nurse asks, 'Your height?' '5 foot 5', I say.
The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5' 2".
She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.
'Of course it's high!' I scream, 'When I came in here I was tall and
slender! Now I'm short and fat!'
She put me on Prozac.
What a bitch.
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