Yearly Physical

The nurse starts with the basics.

'How much do you weigh?' she asks. '135,' I say.

The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asks, 'Your height?' '5 foot 5', I say.

The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5' 2".

She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.

'Of course it's high!' I scream, 'When I came in here I was tall and
slender! Now I'm short and fat!'

She put me on Prozac.

What a bitch.