Wednesday, November 19, 2008

How to maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity


1. At Lunch Time, Sit in Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries With That.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana'

6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and See How Many Looks You Get.

7. Order a Diet Water Whenever You Go Out To Eat, With A Serious Face.

8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

9. Sing Along At The Opera.

10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You Have a Headache.

11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running Towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'


And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity…



14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Yearly Physical

The nurse starts with the basics.

'How much do you weigh?' she asks. '135,' I say.

The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asks, 'Your height?' '5 foot 5', I say.

The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5' 2".

She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.

'Of course it's high!' I scream, 'When I came in here I was tall and
slender! Now I'm short and fat!'

She put me on Prozac.

What a bitch.
If you want to Blog this today too, consider yourself tagged!

TODAY'S TO-DO LIST:

Take L to get his u/s. Go grocery shopping.

WHAT'S FOR DINNER:

Penne with Roasted Butternut Squash
http://www.marthastewart.com/recipe/penne-with-roasted-butternut-squash-pancetta-and-sage?autonomy_kw=squash&rsc=header_36

2 CURRENT SONG CHOICES:

Anything by Lonestar
Katy Perry's Kissed A Girl

2 CURRENT FAVORITE TV SHOWS:


TAR
Survivor

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED:

Kung Fu Panda

LAST CHORE YOU COMPLETED:

Laundry

COFFEE OR TEA:

Tea

BOOK YOU ARE READING:

Dragonfly in Amber

SHOE SIZE:

8

FAVORITE COLOR:

Red

FAVORITE NUMBER:

22

IF YOU COULD BE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD AT THIS VERY MOMENT, WHERE YOU YOU BE:

Greece

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Monday, October 6, 2008

The Halloween Bug has hit!!

This is a Karen Foster Advent Calendar box decorated with papers from D. Corbitt.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Friday, August 29, 2008

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Monday, August 25, 2008

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Friday, August 22, 2008

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Monday, August 11, 2008

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Friday, July 25, 2008

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Monday, July 21, 2008

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Monday, July 14, 2008

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Monday, July 7, 2008

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Monday, June 30, 2008

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Monday, January 28, 2008

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Saturday, January 26, 2008

POTD 340


Grady the traveling "bear"

Friday, January 25, 2008

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Monday, January 21, 2008

Sunday, January 20, 2008

POTD 345

A snowy evening walk.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Friday, January 18, 2008

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Day 348

7th Anniversary flowers.