3CrazyBoyz: 2008

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

How to maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit in Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries With That.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana'

6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and See How Many Looks You Get.

7. Order a Diet Water Whenever You Go Out To Eat, With A Serious Face.

8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

9. Sing Along At The Opera.

10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You Have a Headache.

11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running Towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity…

14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Yearly Physical

The nurse starts with the basics.

'How much do you weigh?' she asks. '135,' I say.

The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asks, 'Your height?' '5 foot 5', I say.

The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5' 2".

She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.

'Of course it's high!' I scream, 'When I came in here I was tall and
slender! Now I'm short and fat!'

She put me on Prozac.

What a bitch.

If you want to Blog this today too, consider yourself tagged!

TODAY'S TO-DO LIST:

Take L to get his u/s. Go grocery shopping.

WHAT'S FOR DINNER:

Penne with Roasted Butternut Squash
http://www.marthastewart.com/recipe/penne-with-roasted-butternut-squash-pancetta-and-sage?autonomy_kw=squash&rsc=header_36

2 CURRENT SONG CHOICES:

Anything by Lonestar
Katy Perry's Kissed A Girl

2 CURRENT FAVORITE TV SHOWS:

TAR
Survivor

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED:

Kung Fu Panda

LAST CHORE YOU COMPLETED:

Laundry

COFFEE OR TEA:

Tea

BOOK YOU ARE READING:

Dragonfly in Amber

SHOE SIZE:

8

FAVORITE COLOR:

Red

FAVORITE NUMBER:

22

IF YOU COULD BE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD AT THIS VERY MOMENT, WHERE YOU YOU BE:

Greece

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